Something's Kind of Squirrelly-Episode 8

“Carly’s teaching that?” asked Josey.

Great, she thought, there’s another one horning in on Van. Josey had a secret crush on him and every time he entered her shop, he made her heart thump all over the place. He was some kind of man, legs built like pillars, face chiseled like an Adonis and the sweetest personality. He had recently moved from the city, and had taken to small town living real quick.

“Just a manicure for you?” Josey asked. Like a surgeon, she skillfully laid out her tools and went to get some water for soaking. While she was gone, Lucille situated herself on the chair and gazed out the window. Van was across the way now, at Bud’s barbershop.

The shop was hushed except for the television that kept blinking in and out of focus. Lucille watched as a weather alert lit up the screen. She couldn’t hear much of anything, but she could see the alarmed look on the weatherman’s face as he excitedly pointed towards the huge green swirling mass that was moving towards land.

“You see that?” she asked, as Josey deftly removed her nail polish and set her hands to soaking.

Josey looked out the window towards Bud’s shop. “I know, that is the strangest thing,” she said, as she watched Van deliver another manila colored package.

“What’s strange?” asked Lucille.

“Once a week, Bud gets a manila package delivered and every time after it’s delivered, quick as a toad snaps up a fly, he puts up the closed sign, and you don’t see hide nor hair of him until about three o’clock. I mean in the middle of the day! He just closes up shop. He only does that when he gets those packages. I’ve been watching him for about six months now and it never changes, just like clock work.”

“I was meaning that hurricane, but now you’ve got me intrigued. What do you think is in the packages?” asked Lucille.

“I don’t know, but years ago Bud used to go home everyday for lunch. Now he stays all by himself in that shop, most of the time with the closed sign up. What’s so funny, is the look on his face, kind of like a little squirrel. He reaches his hand out for the package and then zip, he shuts the door.”

“Maybe I can find out from Van where the packages comes from,” said Lucille with a smile in her eyes, “you know, when we are at exercise class together.”

Visions of Van’s husky frame with sweat dripping off his bulging arms and traveling down his six-pack abdomen, drove Josey into a frenzy. “I don’t think that’s a good idea,” she said, as she jabbed Lucille’s cuticle.

Lucille jerked her hand back. “Ouch, watch what you’re doing there.”

Josey said, “I think it’s a legal thing. He can’t talk about people’s mail. Ask your husband about it, since he’s the sheriff. If anyone should know about these things, he would.”

“I might just do that,” said Lucille. “Why do you think Van moved here, of all places?”

Acting like she had been given confidential information straight from the horse’s mouth, Josey bent her head down and whispered, "Well, you know he used to be a stock broker. I think he got tired of the city and wanted a place where he could raise his hawks.”

“Hawks?” exclaimed Lucille. “I didn’t know he raised them. Why in the world is he doing that? A good looking man like that should be roosting with a woman, not a bunch of birds, and he sure won’t find one up to his standards in this town.”

Josey bristled at the remark. “Well there are a few single women still available in this town you know, and if he’s looking for one, my sign says open.”

Josey hunched her shoulders forward a little more to expose her cleavage. In all her thirty-seven years, she still believed the greatest invention to mankind was the push up bra. The older she got, the tighter she hooked them. She figured push it up, poke it out and let the flesh fall where it may, which usually meant, out the top of her v-neck.
Stay tuned for the next episode!