New Girl In Town - Episode 16

Mandy Brennan decided to park down the street from the beauty salon so she could walk through town and get a feel for the place. After double-checking to make sure she had locked her car, she looked around and laughed. She had to keep reminding herself, this was not Chicago.

What a quaint little place, she thought. It was like a breath of fresh air after living in the city. White clapboards and dainty flower boxes delighted her weary eyes. The warm wind tousled her hair and brought with it the scent of newly mown grass. The heat of the summer day rose up from the pavement and lazily called to meandering lizards that played tag in the flower boxes. In Chicago, the coldness of the city had entered her bones and she prayed it had not reached her heart. When Matt had first gotten the assignment to Trinity, they both had been a little hesitant about taking it. The history of Trinity was not a good one. She could not figure out how there could be so much turn over of pastors, in one small church.

You had only to look at the enchanting town to wonder what was going on. She could see evil living and taking root in the heart of a city where high risers, like cement Legos, blocked out the sunlight, and the only green anyone ever saw was a taxi streaking by. But here, this was God’s country. The sunlight lit up the town and Mandy couldn’t wait to meet the residents who lived within its gentle rays.

The wind was gusting and tousling her long, honey colored hair. She leaned her head back and loved the feeling as her ponytail tickling her toned shoulders and back. She was thirty-two years old, but most people mistook her for about twenty-five. She never believed the comments they made about her, how gorgeous she was.

Unbeknownst to Mandy, she had drawn the curious eyes of several townspeople, as they enviously watched the young woman enjoying the sun and wind. The heady smell of cinnamon drew her towards Nadine’s Bakery. A hand carved goose squatted outside the door with a cheery sign suspended from its mouth that read, “Welcome, come on in.” Now isn’t that cute Mandy thought? You could never leave something like that outside in the city, it’d be snatched up and sold on the next corner. Yes, she was glad that after much prayer, she and Matt had decided to accept the new position. She needed a new start, and a renewing of her relationship with the Lord. After serving in the church for so long, she discovered she had built a wall of protection around her heart, and here in this place, it was going to come down. She truly loved people, but boy had she become disillusioned about them.

After years of being the target of backbiting Christians she had finally realized that they were like everyone else. Just because they were born again, did not mean their mortality had died. As Mandy pushed open the screen door, a merry tingle delighted her ears and a heavenly aroma rushed up to meet her. Behind the counter stood a plump, elderly woman with her arms plunged into a bowl of dough. Her tiny glasses had slid down the bridge of her narrow nose, and in Mandy’s eyes, she looked like Mrs. Claus, twinkly eyes and all.

“Why how you doing this morning?” Nadine asked, as she blew a wayward strand of gray hair out of her eyes. “I’m Nadine Burke and who might you be? Haven’t seen you in town before.” She hastily grabbed a towel and scrubbed the rubbery flour from her hands.

“I’m fine, thanks for asking,” said Mandy. “And yes, I’m new to town. My husband Matt Brennan, has just been assigned to Trinity church, and I’m Mandy Brennan. I was walking by and couldn’t resist. That cinnamon smelled so delicious I just had to come in and find the source.” She extended her hand in greeting while taking in the glass cases, mounded high with all kinds of goodies.

“Well I do all my own baking, nothing artificial in here. Fresh every morning, unlike Rosa’s over there at Cornbread Corner,” she said, with a nod of her head towards the door. “She tries to pander those biscuits as homemade, but I can tell you, I’ve seen the wrappers stuck outside her garbage cans, and if they aren’t frozen and baked, I’ll eat my raw dough.”

Stay tuned for the next episode!

More Than Just the Mail-Episode 15

“You know, I haven’t given it one thought,” said Josey, “but that casserole was a pretty big hit last year. There wasn’t one crumb left in my dish when I picked it up. I guess I’ll make it again. Funny you should mention it though, because I never heard a word from anyone about it, and not the first person asked for the recipe. Who would have ever thought collards and cornbread all mushed up together could taste so good? Course it was probably my secret ingredient that put it over the top. Promise you won’t tell anyone. It’s nutmeg. Yep, nutmeg. I heard on a cooking show that nutmeg tastes good in everything, and darned if they weren’t right.”

Karen knew exactly why there wasn’t one crumb left. She, along with Glenda Jackson, had covertly dumped the whole mess behind the 4-H stall, assured that the stench from the hogs would overpower the rank collards.

Josey was secretly wondering how she was going to handle this new situation. She had Karen sitting in the seat, looking like a drowned red setter and the new pastor’s wife coming in any minute. She furiously began blow-drying Karen’s hair.

Karen pushed her head forward and winced. “What are you doing? Remember, that’s attached to my head.”

“Well honey,” said Josey, “like you said, idle hands are the work of the devil, so I was just practicing what you preached.”

The door opened, and silhouetted by the sun was Van, looking like he had stepped off the cover of her latest romance novel. Josey savored these moments each day. Forgetting about Karen, she clicked the dryer off and fairly bounced over to the counter.

“Now what have you been up to big boy?” she questioned, as she suggestively smoothed her clinging pants over her rump.

“How are you ladies doing today?” he asked, as he handed Josey her mail. Giving a quick wink he turned to go. “Always a pleasure seeing you all getting fixed up. Tootsie, looking pretty as ever,” he said with a nod.

Tootsie blushed, wiggled her toes in the warm water and said, “How are you doing Van? You bringing Josey some more of those contests she enters?”

“One of these days I’m going to be bringing her a winner,” he said.

Josey looked at him adoringly. “You really think so?” she asked.

“Josey, anyone that works as hard as you do at them, can’t help but be a winner,” he said, pulling the door open. Giving a tilt of his head at Karen he said, “And how are you doing Mrs. Foster?” With that, he was gone.

Josey loved to enter contests. She just knew that one day someone from Publishers Clearing House was going to be standing outside her shop with a four-foot check made out to her. She slowly exhaled. “Do you believe that guy? He has a nice word for everyone. Now that’s a real man,” she said as she watched mesmerized, as he made his way down the street.

She hastily finished Karen’s hair, knowing that Mandy Brennan would be coming through the door any second, and there was no way she wanted both women to meet head on. At least not until she had given Mandy a head’s up on Karen. If not, it would be like putting a goldfish in a bowl with a piranha.

“That ought to do you,” she said, as she filled the air with hair spray. Karen shook her head. Like a football helmet, every which way she turned her head, the molded hair went with it. She could not wait to get home to wash the aerosol cap off her head. Giving a nod to Tootsie, she put some bills in Josey’s hand and scrambled for the door. She kept telling herself this was going to be her last visit to the salon, but the drive to Strafford made her tired just thinking about it. Anyhow, who in this old town knew anything about fashion, she thought. “See you ladies in church,” she said.

“Bye bye hon,” said Josey, as she lit a cigarette. “Tootsie, you can quit faking like you were asleep now. I’ve got a few minutes before Mandy comes in. I can’t wait to meet her. Was she really in the Peace Corps like you said, or were you just making that up to get Karen mad?” she questioned.

“What do you think?” asked Tootsie, with a nasty grin. “And no, I did not make it up. Carly Sutton told me all about her.”

“When were you talking to Carly?”

“Last week. I ran into her at Cornbread Corner.”

“Well, I’m going to take a break before she comes in,” said Josey, as she picked up the latest tabloid and began to thumb through it.

Stay tuned for the next episode!

Mantra Meddling - Episode 14

Josey lifted her voice over the hot water as she washed Karen’s hair.

“Well, they do seem to come more frequently after I have had a nice gin and tonic. To relax me, you know. A body can’t receive from the Lord when they are all tangled up in everyday problems, so I like to take the edge off. You can sort of call it communion. I pour a drink, a small one mind you, then I light my candles, put on some soft music and start my mantra.”

“Mantra,” said Karen, as her eyes jerked open.

“What are you talking about? You mean you sing a hymn?” She could just picture Josey waltzing around her mobile home in some lacey get up, her arms outstretched to the heavens and a cigarette dangling out of her mouth.

“You’re not getting into that devil worship stuff are you? That New Age propaganda is going to be the downfall of our society.”

“No,” said Josey, defensively. “I have some favorite words I say over and over again to get the rhythm going. It’s like stirring the pot, getting in the right mood to receive. It kind of goes like this, ‘Hmmmmmmmmmmm, Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm, Lord come to me, come to me, come to me.’ Only you keep saying it real fast, over and over again. Then bingo, He comes. That’s how I get my instructions to give to the ladies at the prayer meetings. Most of those women don’t know the first thing about being spiritual. Why, I believe half of them don’t even pray over their meals. Every night I set up my TV tray, turn on Jeopardy, and then pray to the Lord. That’s why I’m hoping I can teach those ladies something.”

Karen made a mental note to talk to Larry about Josey’s dabbling in the occult.

“Oh,” said Josey, “before I forget, I wanted to tell you how much I loved your peach cobbler. Now you have got to give me the recipe. I have never tasted sweeter peaches or a crisper crust. I swear, it was light as air.” Under the din of the television she continued, “But back to Tootsie. I think she’s just a little bit jealous of you.”

“Jealous of me! Why?” questioned Karen, as she glanced at Tootsie’s lulling head.

“Well, truth be told, she has told me time and time again how much she loves the color of your hair. Says she’d give up Snicker bars, if she could get the same look.”

 Josey was smooshing Karen, but she considered it part of the business, a moral obligation, to make everyone feel special.

Rising up inside, Karen smirked. “Go on, I don’t believe it. She said that? About my hair? I have noticed her looking it over every time we meet, but I thought she was making fun of it, being so red you know. She really likes it? Wishes she could have the same color? Now, don’t you go giving the formula for my color to anyone, you hear.”

“Oh you can trust me on that,” said Josey, as she silently laughed. “What do you want done today? How about you let me try that Jackie Kennedy flip on you?”

“No,” said Karen, a little too hastily. “My normal shampoo and blow dry will be fine. I don’t have much time today. I still have to get some things for that hurricane out there and start getting prepared for the fall festival. Which reminds me, what are you bringing? And don’t tell me we are going to be gifted with your collard and cornbread casserole again.” Mentally raising a finger to her nose, she remembered the terrible smell of the gooey mess.

Stay tuned for the next episode!

Josey Unveiled - Episode 13

Karen turned in the chair and caught Josey’s eyes in the mirror. Until now, not much has been said about Josey, but Karen’s image of her said it all. Karen almost laughed as she surveyed Josey’s blond, mile-high French twist, stacked atop her 5’7” frame. Of course, spiked heels created three of those inches. Brown eyes were outlined with a thick application of charcoal liner that contrasted sharply with her blond, penciled eyebrows.

Depending on the day, half moons of vivid blue, green or purple eye shadow, sat atop her eyelids. It was almost as if she wanted the viewer to overlook the commonness of her brown eyes and instead, see the color eyes she would have chosen for herself. Few people ever saw deep into those eyes. Like a picture a toddler colors, creatively neglecting the designated lines, her lips were evidence of an erratic scarlet red lipstick pencil gone astray.

Her ear lobes always dangled the most unusual items such as; miniature Eiffel towers, palm trees, hot dogs or four leaf clovers. Her cheekbones had pink, polka dot blush etched onto her coffee-colored leather skin, which was attributed to too many days sitting in the sun, slurping gin and tonics. Still in all, she was an attractive woman, in a bohemian sort of way.

The irritating snapping of her peppermint gum was as grating as her nasal, southern slurred speech. Her clip, clip, clippity way of walking in stilettos, set off a slow, sexual flow from her waist as hot as lava, through her tight Capri pants and all the way down her shapely calves. The eyes of the onlooker were always treated to some outlandish design obtained from Josey’s meticulous pedicures. Today it happened to be Zodiac signs, highlighted with wee sparkle stones.

If you could get her to quit waving those extra long cigarettes around, you would see her slender hands. Like her toes, Josey used her fingernails as a way of expressing herself. Her philosophy was, the Lord painted the sky and made rainbows for one purpose, to instruct women on how to use color and to assure them, the more color the better, as far as He was concerned. The length of her nails unnerved Karen. It got her thinking they could be a real safety issue. After all, how could one clean out their ears, use toilet paper effectively or safely apply feminine products with those talons?

Still, there was something about Josey that Karen related to. They both felt they had something to contribute spiritually into the lives of people. Now that’s not saying they were right on this assumption. In fact, it really was just a nice way of saying they were both very nosey people who liked to live their lives vicariously through other people.

Tootsie turned the footbath on and closed her eyes.

Karen whispered, “Josey, I never have understood your relationship with Tootsie. You both are complete opposites and yet you’ve been best friends since grade school. I know she’s your friend but she just irritates the heck out of me. Did you hear those sly remarks she made about me and Larry?”

Josey laughed as she fiddled with the shampoo dispenser.

“Karen, you two are like mixing a bull dog with a Great Dane. One grabs a hold and won’t let go and the other just bully’s its way in because it’s bigger. Tootsie and I go back a long way, and she’s one of the few women in this town that respects me, unlike the church prayer group. I know the only reason I am leading it, is because Pastor Foster set up that rotation business. Do you think any of those mutton headed women would have elected me as head of the prayer group? Like I don’t know the Bible as well as they do. Hell, I read it every night and sometimes God even gives me dreams and their interpretations, just like Daniel in the Bible.”

“Whoa,” laughed Karen, “are you trying to tell me God speaks to you in dreams? What did He have to say about that hurricane out there? Are we going to get it? And while you are in Never Never Land, does he ever mention my name?”

Josey roughly ran a brush through Karen’s hair. “No He didn’t say anything about that hurricane out there and you can laugh if you want, but how do you think I get all this spiritual insight? How is it I know about everyone’s problems in town?”

By peeping out that picture window that is the size of Texas, and pumping customers for information, that’s how, thought Karen. “Well, do you fast or pray before you get these dreams, these visions?” she asked.

Stay tuned for the next episode!

Tootsie Sees Red! - Episode 12

Running her hand through her bright, carrot-colored hair, she smiled. Her hair had been the only way she could loosen the conventional bonds put on her by the church. It had been like Custard’s Last Stand, but she had stood her ground with Larry. She refused to allow him to dictate what color hair she would, or could have. Her fancy new shoes may be hidden in the closet, but her flaming head of hair, was out there for all to see. Her routine appointment with Josey held her mousy brown hair at bay, and along with it, her timid spirit.

“As a matter of fact, we’re having a meeting tonight,” said Tootsie. “Oh, I forgot, you don’t come to the prayer meetings do you? The church is getting up a welcoming committee for Trinity’s new pastor. I hear he’s a powerful man of God, and his wife’s a tiny little thing who’s actually been in the Peace Corps in Africa.”

Tootsie knew the remark would irritate Karen and make her competitive spirit rise up. She was actually hoping to see Karen’s face flush about the same color as that awful carrot red mess on her head.

That she was not more involved in church matters, had always been a sore spot with Karen, and the congregation. And now here was this big lug of a woman rubbing it in her face. Still smiling, always the lady, Karen slid into the awaiting cracked plastic chair and asked, “Was that you I saw getting out of Hank’s car at the Watering Hole last night? Now don’t tell me you’ve taken to frequenting that dive. It’s not seemly for a Christian woman you know.”

She was forcing Tootsie’s hand. Tootsie would have to admit being at the local bar, and run the risk of being the subject of church gossip. If she said she wasn’t with Hank, it would be proof that Hank was indeed with another woman.

You witch, thought Tootsie. Now how am I going to get out of this one?

Reaching out, she patted Karen on the hand. “Honey, did you happen to see his car on your way out of town? That Strafford mall is something else isn’t it? Can you believe they put in all those expensive, fancy stores? Now who around here can afford anything like that? Most people around here are stretching the budget just to shop at Wal Mart.”

For a long time Tootsie had been suspicious about Karen’s frequent trips out of town but she couldn’t quite put her finger on the problem. Since she had never seen Karen wearing anything worth mentioning, she figured it could not possibly be clothes. Still, something was there. She remembered the time she had bumped into Karen at the mall and her arms were slam full of packages. That in itself did not create suspicion, but the guilty look on Karen’s face had puzzled Tootsie. She kind of looked like her kids had, the day they got caught smoking cigarettes in the back yard.

Karen looked at her watch. “My goodness Tootsie, did you say you had some place to go?”

“Nope,” Tootsie said, as she nestled her plump frame deeper into the chair. Pastor’s wife or not, nobody gets the best of me, she thought.

Stay tuned for the next episode!

Closeted Secrets - Episode 11

Josey scanned her appointment book again and silently cursed. Here it was 1:00 and Karen Foster was due in for a wash and a set at 1:30. Just what she needed she thought, as she stared at her watch. By her calculations, Tootsie should be bursting through the door any second. She had time for another quick smoke. The last thing she needed to hear was Karen harping on and on about second hand smoke. She’d love to blow smoke right up Karen’s snooty nose that was always stuck up in the air.

Tootsie burst through the door and plopped herself down. As she tried to catch her breath, she fanned herself with a sale paper from the Piggly Wiggly.

“You are gonna be the death of me Josey McFarland. Now I’m going to need to cool down before little Miss Foster gets here. I don’t want her seeing me all flustered and sweaty. That’s all the ammunition she would need.”

No sooner had Tootsie spoken the words than the door jerked open and Karen’s shrill voice permeated the air.

“Josey, you’ve still got your closed sign up. There’s no telling how much business you’ve run off. You know what the good Lord says, idle hands are the work of the devil,” she quoted, like a constipated parrot.

It bemused her to see Josey hastily turn the sputtering black and white television’s channel to the Christian network. She had to admit, being the pastor’s wife did have its perks, it brought feelings of power she found she liked.

Karen was the wife of Larry Foster, Carington Height’s pastor and she played the role well. After marrying Larry she had to make several adjustments to her lifestyle, and one was the requirement that she dress the part. Being raised the only daughter of a wealthy man, Karen had never known limitations on spending, and marrying a man of God had not curbed her enthusiasm for buying.

You had only to look into Karen’s closet to see her hidden vice. Shoes lined the walls and bags were scrunched into every corner. The whisper of plastic was heard as you brushed past the rows of dresses, which had never been worn.

She may be the pastor’s wife, required to look the dowdy part, but somewhere along the line she had met resistance in her heart. Just because her husband had heard the voice of God calling him into the ministry, did not mean the Lord had called her too. Like a defiant child, the more she was told, “you can’t wear that,” the more she bought. No, she may never be able to wear it, but by gosh she was going to own it.

She had kept the secret for many years from her husband until one day he decided to paint the house, including her closet. One good thing about Larry was, he wasn’t really interested in anyone but himself. He kept to his part of the house and she, to hers. After all, a man of God had to have a private place where he could hear the voice of God, or so he said. All Karen ever heard booming out of his den, were cheers from the crowds as his favorite football team scored another touchdown.

The day he had walked into her closet was the day he stepped out of her heart. She had to laugh about it though, the expression of pure astonishment on his face as he went through all she had amassed over the years. The only time she could remember him looking more surprised, was when he had prayed for a man’s back to be healed and the man jumped up, totally healed. It had shocked the heck out of Larry.

“Good morning ladies,” she said, nodding her stiff neck, and dusting an imaginary piece of lint off of her navy pinstriped pants. “Tootsie, what have you been up to? I haven’t seen you in church lately. You been feeling okay?”

Stay tuned for the next episode!